Resilience. In the natural world, resilience means that something is able to spring back into its shape after something causes it to momentarily change its shape. Like the elasticity of a palm tree in a storm, it sways and almost bends and touches the ground, but eventually springs back into a straight palm tree.
Resilience is a bit different when it comes to people and adversity. People may go through a storm too but will not usually come out of the storm the same. They will change. Resilience is when a person is able to come out of a difficult situation with new strengths or a new knowledge of who they are. They can recover from adversity but with the awareness that they are not the same person that they were before the storm.
If you are parenting children with trauma, or if you as a parent have had trauma in your own life, you know those scars cannot be erased. But you and your child can discover a resilience that comes from those traumas and know yourself better and be stronger for it.
You can help your child build resilience by attuning with your child and teaching him how to regulate those tumultuous emotions when circumstances trigger anxiety and unsafe feelings. Those feelings are normal with trauma backgrounds. You can be the safe, calm person that helps your child work through those feelings and what to do with them. I’ve said this before, knowledge is power. Learn how trauma changes the brain and how you can help that person feel safe again.
For further reading, here are a few other posts I have about trauma:
I also have a resource section with great book recommendations to read on trauma, and I am always available to work with you one on one to help you connect with your child through those big behaviors.